if you start looking around you, you know there's no pretending; 'cause how you twist and bend it, she's the perfect tout...
i am so glad that the sunshine is finally here.
i have trouble sometimes. i'll have this thought that i think is a memory, but the more i think on it, i can't remember if it actually happened or if i dreamed it happening - like i'm remembering a piece of a dream. and sometimes i dream things that i could swear actually happened, but when i try to piece them together logically, like to an actual time and place, i can't.
i know that the brain burries things it cannot face. but if they're pieces of who i am, shouldn't i have access to them?
i want to be protected, but i want so much to know the truth.
and having both is impossible.
and i don't do so well with impossible.
i believe so strongly that anything is possible.
my mom, she raised me with stuff like: "don't let anyone break your spirit!"
and i love her for this.
but this has instilled and ingrained in me the that my spirit is in fact, breakable.
and has since, been broken.
(boo hoo emofag, get over it)
not that i want to procreate, ever,
but if i ever had a child,
i would raise her with "your spirit, is UNBREAKABLE."
________
on a guilty pleasure side note; i finally posted my black balloon contest entries:
part one: Saints who Died as Children
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5854566/1/Saints_who_Died_as_Children
and part two: Now I Lay Me down to Sleep
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5854571/1/Now_I_Lay_Me_down_to_Sleep
and RLT chapter 6 will be up soon soon :)
1 comment:
And congratulations on a double win in the Black Balloon Contest!
That stuff about dreams reminds me of something I read so many years ago in Wuthering Heights. It really stuck in my mind and I can still quote it.
"I have dreamed dreams in my life that have stayed with me ever after. they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, altering the colour of my mind"
That imagery is so potent of the red wine smoking its way through the water.
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